How to Recognize an iBFer Preacher II

You can’t take preaching, you can’t even take announcements!

Oh yeah, you know I could not just leave it at one post on this subject.  You can’t take preaching, you can’t even take announcements!  I stole that from an iBFer evangelist who stole it from some other iBFer…and I just want to give credit where credit is due.  I understand humor, and I know that sometimes men use humor in the pulpit, but it is important to know that many of your favorite iBFer preachers view humor as an anesthetic before they lay something on you that is difficult for you to take, or that they perceive is difficult for you to take.  Whether or not it is difficult to take is meaningless.  Many people are able to distinguish between common sense and stupidity under normal circumstances, but when the self-proclaimed man of God tells you thus and such, you had better snap to sir, ma’am if you served me them boxed potatoes I’d throw ’em on the floor ma’am. (sorry Tony Hutson broke into my house accessed my wordpress account opened this post and wrote that) Usually it involves a veiled insult towards you or your actions.  Going to the movie house, that’s trash Rory….  You need a point of reference on that last comment so check this out.

Now these fellas are making a joke out of things us fundys say and do.  I do not know them, I do not know how serious they are, I am not sure if they are preachers or not , but I know this video is supposed to be humor.  The problem is the things they say in jest I have heard from pulpits and the men saying them were as serious as could be.  If we are going to take a stand against the movie house, then we should take a stand against movies in general.  All movies, not just the ones we find objectionable, but every single movie including It’s a Wonderful Life.  Why you ask; because in some manner they are all connected to organizations who promote things we find objectionable.  Why would we watch Disney movies when the Disney corporation supports homosexual causes.  Since they do support homosexual causes we should extricate ourselves from all things Disney.  No more Mickey Mouse, no more Cars or Cars 2, no Snow White, no Disney none of the time.  Nevertheless, most preachers I know have Disney movies in their homes on DVD, but they would never go to the movie house to see them.  Why the double standard?  Now extrapolate that thought to everything else, and we begin to see an emerging problem, hypocrisy.  If hypocrisy is permitted in small doses then the larger doses of hypocrisy become easier to swallow.   We are all guilty of being hypocritical from time to time, but most folks try not to make a habit of practicing hypocrisy, that is of course most folks who are not iBFers.

Perhaps instead we should use some discernment and make up our own minds about the movie house and what we should and should not see there.  The hypothetical arguments really don’t hold water. You may be familiar with them.  If you go to see Cars 2 in the same movie theater that is playing a rated R movie with highly objectionable material and another church member sees you walking out of the theater they might assume you saw the rated R movie.  You are being a bad example to them, and what if they are the weaker brother.  Well, now you have done it. Since you went to the movie they will probably go out to the bad side of town buy some marijuana stop in at Chili’s drink liquor and run out to a Comic Con on Disney Princess night and party like it’s 1999.  By the way, why was the other church member near the movie house in the first place?  Are they backsliding?  Are they living in sin?  Were they at the objectionable film?

It is this kind of judgmental attitude which infects the heart of the iBFer.  Jesus cautioned us to judge with righteous judgment.  We are to judge, but judge fairly. This is where the problem seems to be.  We have a hard time letting our brothers and sisters be themselves, and an even harder time minding our own business.  The Bible also has much to say about busybodies, and none of it is positive.  If we could look at our fellow-man as a work of God in progress and stop trying to dictate to him his own behavior, but instead teach him to follow Christ, our churches would be much better and more healthy places.

In Michigan they sell liquor in grocery stores.  They also sell liquor at Chili’s.  Some preachers I know will not set foot in Chili’s because it says Grill and Bar on the sign but they have no qualms about going to the grocery store.  They also have no problem going to Applebee’s.  Applebee’s is fine Chili’s is of the Devil.  Can someone reasonably explain this double standard to me?  If this is your personal view that is fine, but keep it out of the pulpit.  Jesus does not care if you eat at Chili’s or Applebee’s.  Do not try to convince me that going someplace like Chili’s causes the stink of alcoholism to become mystically attached to me but going to Applebee’s is just fine.  There is a big difference between Chili’s and Applebee’s.  Chili’s bar is usually behind a wall and mostly separate from the rest of the restaurant, but Applebee’s bar is in the middle of the place and visible from just about every seat in the house.  Chili’s=Satanistic EVIL  Applebee’s=Family FUN!  I am not speaking out of school on this, I have actually heard preachers waste pulpit time preaching on this very subject.  (Sarcasm pending…and here it is) Yep, that got me closer to Jesus.  Do not equivocate a seedy bar and a restaurant like Chili’s unless you are going to lump your local Kroger store in with the whole bunch.



These are just two examples of common themes among iBFer preachers.  It gets much worse especially when they begin to tiptoe around actual spiritual matters.  Take for instance soul winning.  In our circles soul winning is the ace number one activity in which you can participate; that is as long as you are doing it using the correct methods.  What is the correct method?  Door to door and confrontational naturally, and or the time-honored tradition of passing out tracts.  For most people the thought of touching the door of a complete stranger causes them to get a bad case of the scupums.  (Scupums are a cross between hiccups, the shakes, and severe bladder control issues, I made it up.) Most people do not possess the skills necessary to engage a stranger in a conversation, especially a spiritual conversation.  Yet we as preachers continue to jam down their throats the idea of going door to door to win the lost.  There is nothing wrong with door to door soul winning, but it is not the only God approved method of doing so.  iBFers demean, and ridicule just about any other method of soul winning.  They are convinced that the only way to successfully win someone to the Lord is to knock on their door and lead, drag, or kick them down the Romans Road.  If this is your prefered method, great, do it, knock those doors, win those souls, but if I prefer another method leave me alone.  iBFers are also big on handing out tracts.  “If you don’t have a tract in your pocket right now, don’t even think about saying amen.”  “We are going to check you for tracts right now and if you don’t have one it tells us everything we need to know about your spirituality.” and “If you don’t have a tract in your pocket, you might as well be naked.” are just some of the things I have heard from pulpits concerning passing out tracts.  Should a Christian carry and hand out tracts on a regular basis?  NO…that’s right I said NO.  Most of the tracts I have read are garbage, trash Rory.  Most of them do not contain the gospel, they are confusing, and they bring up more questions than they answer.  It is a time-honored tradition to pass them out, but what do you think the average person does with the tract you just handed to them?  Trash Rory.

Let me give you something I wrote, it’s from the bible, I hope you enjoy that.

Christianity is spread by relationships established in trust.  I am not saying that knocking on doors is wrong or bad or that it should not be done.  I have literally knocked on thousands of doors, and I have seen the Lord save people on their front porch, but God has given me the ability to talk to strangers and engage them in a spiritual conversation.  I think most preachers have that ability, but I do not think most church members do.  What I have observed is church members being a witness for Christ with the people they talk to on a regular basis.  They talk to co-workers and friends about Jesus.  They may never knock on a single door, but they win folks just the same.  Instead of encouraging this behavior, preachers try to guilt the members into door to door confrontational soul winning.  Christians get sick and tired of being coerced to do something they are not good at, or are afraid to do.  So why not encourage them to keep doing what they are already comfortable doing?

If you died today, are you 100% sure I wouldn’t be the cause?

I wish that every one of you iBFers , especially the ones who claim not to read this blog, would take your head out of your…er..uh.. I mean…out of the sand on these preferential stands you are famous for making and really think about your ministry.  Trying to get everyone to adopt your standards is not why God called you to preach.  God did not call you to preach to build an empire and a legend around yourself.  God did not call you to preach to rule over people.  If God called you to preach at all, He called you to be a servant, to wash feet, to be a meek, loving, mild, helpful, and thoughtful man, apt to teach, not pound into skulls, spiritual truths and principles.  If that is not you, maybe God didn’t call you, maybe someone else influenced you to become a preacher.  I know God didn’t call you to become an iBFer.


8 responses to “How to Recognize an iBFer Preacher II

  1. When I was in Bible College in the middle 60’s, we were told it was not right to go to the movie theaters in our town, but it was perfectly acceptable to go to the “Cinema’s” in Detroit. I was young and inexperienced as well as totally ignorant of the issue, so I asked questions. “What is a Cinema?” Is it different than the Strand, State or Orpheum theaters?” I never received a good answer, no one that I asked could tell me the difference between a Cinema and a local theater, they both charged, showed current movies and sold popcorn. I finally discovered the only logical answer. The Cinema was out of town and your friends wouldn’t see you go in there, while the movies in our town were in theaters where everyone else went. The difference was essentially, anonymity and the reason was hypocrisy.

    • I fear that kind of double standard runs rampant throughout Fundamentalism as we know it. It has made us ultra judgmental and ruined our witness throughout the world with lost and saved people alike. What we need now is some repentence and a return to Bible based standards not man made standards. Thanks for the comment and story.

  2. Another great blog Bro Jason!

  3. Bro Jason love your teachings you really have it together the last three years have been the worst of my life with out the Lord i would of never made it evan Doctors Gave up after my Liver exploded with all the praying i was 9 days in a Coma they pulled me off the Vent the Dr. was shocked he i raised up held my thumb up and said good job Doc doing much better Still recovering

  4. one smelly donkey ....

    Anyone with a “SENSE OF HUMOR” has got to watch the Fundamentalist Preacher Show 1 & 2. Great Stuff.. And BTW Chad! I Sit in the Front ROW! And THESE BLOGS….. “TRASH” !!!

    Good to see Bro Jason doing something with his life.. Maybe we should vote for him becomming the “Fundamentalist of the Week”

    Just trying to cheer you up sir.. you know we love you Lots! 🙂
    and P.S. I really would vote for you…

  5. Browsing through your articles and came across this one.

    The “soul-winning” part of this post was a blessing to read. For many years, I was in a church where going out with the church knocking on strangers doors was required to do ANYTHING in the church. So, there I was with gifts, but the pastor told me that as long as I wasn’t “going soul-winning”, he could not; he would not use me in anyway. Other members avoided me because I might contaminate them with my thinking.

    I tried – for a while, but I was afraid that I would go crazy. I was so angry after the slick salesmanship and rush to say a prayer and not responding to them like a person. The whole thing nauseated me, and so I stopped going, and was an outcast in my own church. This went on for a long time, with my being a 3rd-class member.

    God, who is rich in mercy, opened my eyes and I am no longer there, but still (years later) am working through issues of not being “right with God” because I don’t care to bother people in their homes.

    Thanks for letting me vent… I like what you said about relationships.

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