An Open Letter to My Closed Minded Critics

Yes this means you Dr. Evangelist, and you too Dr. Small Church, and you too Dr. College President…

 

Dear Critics,

Yes this means you Dr. Evangelist, and you too Dr. Small Church, and you too Dr. College President, and you Dr. Missionary, and of course how could I forget you too Dr. I-never-earned-any-degree-but-call-me-doctor.  I have been blogging for a little over a year.  I have written on many subjects and covered many issues in fundamentalism.  The majority of the comments posted here by others are positive.  They are from people who have had the same thoughts as I have, but have never been moved enough to put them into a blog.  You will find a few comments which are not positive at all, but instead are quite negative and were written to make me angry.  Hide behind your anonymity as you might, I know who you are and where you work, and even where your puppet master lives.  I want to be clear, I am not making any kind of threat to you whatsoever, but I know who you are.  I would hate to get a phone call from a lawyer threatening that Dr. Anonymous is going to sue me or get a PPO against me.

I want to put this letter out there to first of all put you in your place, and secondly to help those who read this to be able to put you in your place as well.  Here we go.

When writing a rebuttal to what I have said it is foolish to engage in argumentum ad hominem.  This is an attack on the character and or circumstance of the person with whom you disagree instead of a reasoned argument.  It is easily recognizable by the use of name calling, deflecting, and meanness of tone.  Relax my dear detractors, I am aware that everyone engages in this form of argument from time to time, but that does not excuse you idiots.  Oops, I just did it.  Surely I jest, you are not idiots, but you do not have the capacity to clearly communicate your disagreement with valid thoughtful argument, so you, in a great display of Christian love and concern, hurl insults on Facebook, Twitter and even on this blog.  Friends when someone disagrees with you and they resort to name calling you have won the argument and they have most assuredly lost.  As you have discussions with people try to be aware of ad hominem attacks and celebrate because you have just won.

Another common, and quite invalid, argument is the anecdotal argument.  This is not quite as bad as the argumentum ad hominem because it is not an attack on your character or circumstance, but it is invalid nonetheless.  Yes, everyone does this too, except for my uncle’s third wife La Appalachia, she never used an anecdotal argument so not everyone uses them.  These arguments are characterized by the perpetrator picking out an incidental component of your argument and making up, or citing a real example of why you are wrong.  By extension, in their mind, your entire argument is now defeated.  For instance, when I argue that everyone who has a name is identified by that name and you say I once had a cousin named Alex who went by the name Glockenspiel you are trying to defeat my argument by citing one example out of a possible 7,000,000,000 people on this earth.  You have not provided an opposing argument, you have merely given us an anecdote.  When this happens to you, rejoice, because you have won the argument.

It has also come to my attention that some of you have been using me and my circumstances as means, by sermon illustration, to manipulate people from your sacred desks.  Please leave me out of your messages.  You grand pulpiteers have never even bothered to contact me and ask me about my circumstances so you are effectively lying through your teeth when you use me as a sermon illustration.  Not that this is new for you, it is a common practice among you sorry low down rabid fundy Nazi iBFers.  Oops I did it again, argumentum ad hominem, I should have left out the sorry and the low down.

I would like to invite you closed-minded critics to make opposing arguments to what I have said.  I do not claim to be without error, I am not the arbiter of wisdom in the world, I do not know everything.  Correct me where I have been wrong, show me where I have been incorrect, prove to me and my vast audience of about 50 people how I am out of my gourd.  Not one of you iBFers have ever even attempted to do this.  You refuse to face me like a man and argue like a gentleman.  Instead you hide behind fake Twitter accounts, cryptic Facebook status updates, and the lies that you do not read this blog.  After you have sloshed around in the sewer you try to take the high ground by telling more lies that you are praying for me and my family.  Hey if you want to really help me, because I don’t believe you are really praying for me, why don’t you do something useful and send me some money.  Let’s face it, you are just going to waste it on another tie or pair of cuff-links….man, this anti-ad hominem thing is hard.

Face me like a man thou man of God, prove me wrong.  Prove that I should, as some of you have suggested, send my degree back to Midwestern, and my ordination back to Charity Baptist Church.  I will tell you like I have told you before, you can have my degree back when you give me a refund, and you can have my ordination when the Apostle Paul comes to get it from me personally.  Prove with reasoned argument that I am wrong when I call you an iBFer as I have described it.  Prove I am wrong about rabid fundamentalists, prove me wrong with reasoned and gentlemanly argument.  The truth is you cannot, therefore you use invalid anecdotal arguments, and ad hominem attacks.

As for my blog, it is here to stay.  Somebody has to stand up to bullies who manipulate people for their own selfish ends.  Someone has to stand in opposition to the error you spew from your sacred desks.  Someone has to

The typical iBFer argument

help people see that serving God does not start with a checklist.  I, along with others, will be that someone.  Watch out iBFers,  I will not go quietly into that good night until your mouths are stopped, or until every good Christian who reads this blog has extricated themselves from your manipulative churches, tent meetings, and influence.

So what do you say?  Do you have what it takes to face me like a man, or are you going to continue to hurl insults like a Jr. High student (no offence meant to you who are in Jr. High).  I’ll even make this deal with you instead, lets put up an octagon and go for it, if you win, I’ll stop, if I win, you will stop!

You won’t win, so lets just stick to words…of course you won’t win there either!

 

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4 responses to “An Open Letter to My Closed Minded Critics

  1. You better watch it, or you will get a call from Dr. Jurisprudence threatening a restraining order! :-))

  2. This was grrrrreat!! :-).

  3. Go Brother Jason! God bless always!

  4. Titus 3

    1 Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work,
    2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
    3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.

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